Rosco's Modern Life: Jarome Iginla, Sea God

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Jarome Iginla, Sea God

We're blogging fast and furious over here at Rosco's. It appears I am trying to get you guys to understand my psyche toot sweet. This time I guess I am giving you guys a taste of the Drlog (or dream blog). Bear with me, as my dreams have a tendency for the surreal.

The dream started pretty normally. I was walking down the street in San Francisco to meet a friend of mine, Kelly. Unfortunately, I was in dire need to relieve myself and couldn't find the proper facilities, so I ducked into a corner, between two stores, and did my needed business in the little alcove. One of the stores was a boutique, at which, in my dream, Kelly worked. The other adjacent wall had a handwritten sign clearly pointing out bathrooms in the vicinity (apparently, I missed that).

Well, after finishing my business, I notice that some of the employees at the botique noticed me trying not to be noticed peeing on their wall. I scampered out of there and found my friend. We hung out for awhile, when she is informed by her employer, that nosy boutique, that her job for the rest of the day is to figure out who "vandalized" their wall. Of course, I couldn't flat out tell her it was me, lest she think I was some sort of wall-pee'er with a penchant for wanted voyeurism. So, I played it cool, and tried to help her in her investigation, looking at books of known criminals in the act of lewd, public behavior, all the while keeping my dark secret.

A while later, it seemed like the investigation came to a close, and either Kelly or the boutique gave up on the fruitless task. So we went for some rides on the famed San Francisco cable cars, which were surprisingly empty. No bother, we got on and hung onto the edge, and went up and down the street. I suppose there was some sort of unwritten, unsaid competition for who could hang on the side the longest. At this point, there were three people hanging off the edge of the trolley, and halfway up the hill it was just the two of us - Kelly and myself. We were about to reach the end when I gave up and conceeded to Kelly her victory for hanging on the longest - I hopped off.

Things started getting blurry then as the two of us found ourselves on the top of this hill (presumably the same hill we went up on the cable car). Waves started crashing in and the hill became a sort of beach-style resort. All of the sudden more friends arrived, my friends Vivek, Vilas, and Gaurav were all there splashing into the waves. We were having a ball when the waves dispersed, and things got real quiet - too quiet. Vilas and I were immediately concerned as a faint rumbling noise began to amplify. Vilas and I ran around some of the buildings to a different spot to see where the noise was coming from.

In the distance we saw the water swirling in air as if some unseen force was controlling it. Then - SPLASH! The water was sent everywhere and then recoiled in its hurricane-like form, and we saw the force controlling it - the Sea God - Jarome Iginla (of the Calgary Flames). He continued to send the water crashing through the buildings then would bring it back - his own natural yoyo. Vilas and I were watching from afar, outside of the dangers of the water.

Then, Jarome turned and saw the two of us. He wasn't so interested in Vilas, focusing mostly on me. Then, as if I were his personal doll, he forced me into the air with water or by moving the street below me. Constantly, I was thrown into the air returning with a splash into the water.

The last thing I remember was seeing Mr. Iginla, looking at me, a glint in his eye and a smirk on his face.

Then, I woke up and watched a little "Three Stooges" before packing up for work.

posted by Ross Conkey @ 1:28 PM

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